I've got a topical joke, but I know it won't go further than this blog:
The U.S. military is working on a futuristic anti-mob energy beam that makes people think their skin is on fire. Unfortunately, the military refuses to deploy it because some might view it as a torture machine.
The military's had this problem before -- the device's first name was TortureBeam 5000.
That's my time. Thanks, folks. You've been great.